Jul 18

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Step 8: How To Initiate Sex

How To Initiate Sex

How To Initiate Sex

After you successfully found a date on-line and you got to the point of kissing it is likely that it will soon be time to take it to the last step, we will tell you how to initiate sex with your new found love.


There are some important guidelines when it comes to know How To Initiate Sex:

  • Be aware of the possibility that the girl is completely not ready for sex. (Age, believes, confidence, trauma’s, etc)
  • Review the relationship so far. How far has the relationship come along in terms of maturity and intimacy, is it really ready for the next step?
  • Obviously, you have to be careful and respectful, never force her into doing something she is not sure about.
  • Try talking generally about sex to find out her thoughts about it.
  • Know the (non verbal) signs (mentioned in this article) that she wants to have sex.
  • Try to determine how relaxed your partner is when you get close to her.
  • Know the right time to initiate sex, initiating sex too soon can lead to the total destruction of an early relationship. Also waiting too long can make things more difficult and awkward than necessary.
  • Avoid “buyer’s remorse”. Buyer’s remorse means that the girl feels like she was tricked into having sex.

Indicators that she wants to have sex

Women are masters in expressing things indirectly. There is no exception when it comes to expressing the desire to have sex. The following list shows some basic indirect signs a woman can give if she has the desire to have sex:

  • She is wearing more revealing clothing than usual, even though the weather situation is unchanged.
  • There is more physical contact than previously (like she is unexpectedly touching your hand, leg, arm and shoulder more.
  • She is more flirty than usual, teasing you in a sexy way.
  • She is carrying a bigger bag (could indicate that she expects to sleep with you).
  • Frequently liking her lips when in conversation with you.
  • Touching her neck, chest and hair in a discrete sensual way.

Buyer’s remorse

It is important that you avoid buyer’s remorse. Buyer’s remorse can occur when there is sex too early in the relationship. Usually, to achieve a long term relationship it is important to build a connection with your date first before thinking about having sex, otherwise the girl will think that you are only after sex and will never want to see you again (even if you had sex).

The right time to initiate sex

There is no scheme that will exactly tell you when it is the right time to initiate sex because people are different from each other. However, it is possible to give a rough indication. It is all about finding the right balance between building comfort and not making your partner wait too long. As mentioned earlier, it is important to avoid buyer’s remorse. A rough indication for when to start thinking about initiating sex would be after 2 dates or about 7 hours. Only after this time you can review the new relationship where it stands. Obviously, there should already have been some kissing or touching taking place. If not, you still have to build on attraction and comfort. Only when things start to get more romantic you can think about initiating sex.

A right time to initiate sex would be (assuming you and your new girlfriend have been kissing for a while) if she is giving you a lot of non-verbal indicators as mentioned in this article. So, if you and your girl are, for example, on the third date (and on the second date there was already some kissing) and she is all over you, acting sexy, kissing and touching you it could be the right moment to take things further. Be careful though and try to remember the guidelines of this article.

How to initiate sex

Are nice way to initiate sex is to be direct about it. For example, if you are sitting close together and you start kissing, try to kiss and touch her on new places like her neck and chest, be sure to be graceful and patient. Lead the play, women like to be escorted into something naughty by a man they trust. Once in the bedroom it is normal for a woman to rethink for a moment what she is about to do, especially a first time. If this happens just stop whatever you are doing are try it again later when she relaxes more. This will further strengthen her trust in you.

If you notice that after a while you are initiating sex more often than your girlfriend you can try to take turns like Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo suggest in their e-book. Their e-book suggests to take turns each day. Three days you will be initiating sex and 3 days your girlfriend will be initiating sex the 7th day is a resting day. It also goes into detail how to spice things up and keep things interesting for the long term.

Click here to view more details (affiliate link)


It is vital for you to know when the time is right to initiate sex and How To Initiate Sex. Using the guidelines in this article will help you determine whether or not and when a girl is ready to have sex. Also it is important that you avoid buyer’s remorse by having sex too early in the relationship, this can be fatal for the relationship. When initiating sex it is a good idea to be direct about it, be the one to take things further, be creative, be someone she trusts.

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