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Step 4: First Dating Email

first dating email

first dating email

It is a common problem for men, the first dating email to the person you like…

“What to write”, you might be thinking.

Since this is one of the most important steps in initiating contact with the desired person, you have to do it right. In this article you will find tips about how to do this properly and without scaring your target. We prefer emailing over chatting (you can start chatting later on) because emailing gives you more time to think of something interesting to say, especially if you’re just starting out.

Basic guidelines for the first dating email

It is a bad idea to write complete essays about yourself in the first dating email, people find this creepy and fake. For all they know you send these messages to hundreds of people, and it will come across as weird to tell about your whole life without actually knowing the person you are addressing. Your first dating email shouldn’t  be much longer than 3 sentences.

How to make your target curious about you

Try to get into a calm, confident, natural state of mind. Think to yourself, “what would be a nice first dating email message that I could sent to my target?”. Be witty and creative.

For example, if something caught your eye on the profile, comment on that with a little bit of humor. If you see that the person’s hometown is a small village, you could make a lighthearted farm joke about all the cows the target probably needs to milk in morning in order to be able to eat cornflakes. It is important not to come across as an asshole, but as a balanced, “fun to be around” person with confidence. The target will be thinking, “all the guys always try to suck up to me, but this guy is confident, different and funny, I want to know more about him!” And will be more likely to respond to your message. Another thing you can try is having sincere interest about something that you found on the profile. If you see that the person likes to do something that interests you, you could ask the target to explain a little bit more about it. Important is that you always stay respectful and remember the 3 sentences guideline.

Don’t communicate too long through email

It’s also important to be a little bit mysterious about yourself, but not too much or you will come across as insecure and not sincere! As previously mentioned it’s all about finding the right balance. Aim to email back and forth for no longer than a few days, make your target get more and more curious about you in a positive way. Tell your target something about yourself, not too little and not too much. Always try to end a conversation with a cliffhanger, in other words, try to end the conversation at its highest point. Because of this your target will be really eager to find out more about you, preferably in an actual date!


It is important to give a good impression when you are sending your first dating email to your target, the message will make or break you. As mentioned in the article, it is important to make the target curious about you by being confident, flattering, challenging, funny, respectful and a little bit mysterious. (also called charming) However, if you completely don’t tell anything about yourself you will come across as an insecure, scary guy. Also do not communicate too long through email, arrange an actual meeting when the time is right. More about this subject in the next article.

Step 5: How To Ask Out A Girl In A Cute Way

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